Links: Construction Guide
There are many ways to get the respect that one deserves, but one of the easiest ways is to dress formally. Any number of social, political, and even legal problems can be avoided if one's apparel is flawless and expensive-looking. While this may be a depressing commentary on modern society, it is nonetheless true. A problem arises, however, when, in the course of acquiring said apparel, a top hat must be procured. Top hats are strictly optional in modern formal dress, but still they are very hard to obtain in some places, especially at reasonable prices.
The top hat was an in-house design project to use up left over materials and for assorted other reasons which will remain undisclosed. A surprising amount of mathematics and schematic drawing went into the final product, but most of that has been omitted from the construction guide because no one cares.